If you laugh, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. If you like a poem or song, please StumbleUpon it. Thanks for visiting and enjoy the sucky poems!
This Sucky Poem is dedicated to Jessica @unabarber for suggesting a sucky poem about nipple slips.
some top celebrity acrtress poses for pictures down the walk
and every reporter watching wants to have her for a talk
sometimes she acts politely and tells them all the news
and sometimes even unwillingly, she exposes one of her boobs
she promises it was unintentional and didn’t mean for it to happen
then why aren’t you covering up, you have a shirt to wrap in.
it’s never happened before, i usually use a clip
but nobody ever forgets the common nipple slip.
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.
If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.   
This Sucky Poem is dedicated to Kevin Muldoon @caoimghgin from New Haven for suggesting a sucky poem about dinosaurs in birthday hats. Not sure where he came up with that one but I don’t ask these questions.
We all know many dinosaurs from Barney and Denver to Dino
Palaeontologists even found the Futalognkosaurus Dukei which is thought to be Latino
Some dinosaurs sing, some dinosaurs dance and some compete with the prehistoric cat (Flinstones)
but what we want to see is a dinosaur in a birthday hat.
I can just imagine in prehistoric times
all the dinosaurs celebrating birthdays with ice cream and pies
the carnivorous ones would still each each other
and the herbivores would just cuddle up with their brother
I got the picture in my head, it’s as clear as that
But I just can’t get the image out of my head of a dinosaur in a birthday hat
We don’t have to worry about that stuff or the missing link
Those guys are goners, they’re all bloody extinct.
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
*This poem is dedicated to Mick Campbell from Middlesbrough @MickDude for suggesting the topic of “how to fix a computer”. You too can have a poem dedicated to you if you send @suckypoems a suggestion for a sucky poem on twitter.
Fixing a PC computer is actually quite complex
you have to do about a 101 different checks
it starts with checking tasks and seeing what’s running
and see what process your computer is shunning
then ending the process and see if it works
and then move on to find the other quirks
check your system and your firewall
then start a scan to send out a call
scan for viruses and spyware too
delete all of your downloads from the queue
uninstall programs that don’t seem to run
after all that you would think that you’d be done
repeat the processes above and see if it changes
click on the process column before it rearranges
if all else fails, here’s what to do
shut down the computer and start the session anew
that should work but if not
call tech support for help and then wait a lot
until some one picks up and tells you to do everything you already tried
when they finally tell you, your computer has died
but they have a special on computers this week
and you can own a new piece of junk courtesy of the squad of geeks
then you can buy a warranty that will cover any issue
but their warranty is what i use for bathroom tissue
with the warranty, they take your computer for several weeks
then give it back and tell you they completed some tweaks
but you notice that nothing has changed and it still has the trouble
now you’re left without a computer and your ticked off double
My suggestion to you is to take your computer back
then splurge a little and buy yourself a Mac
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
I remember my prom like it happened today
i went in style, i wouldn’t have it any other way
i got a stretched limo and a corsage for the girl
before going in, we took the limo for a whirl
I dressed in the fanciest Tux
It only cost me a couple hundred bucks
we danced, talked, laughed and spiked the punch
I had all my friends there and liked it a bunch
I was elected as king of the dance
it might have been because I looked so good in my flashy pants
oh wait, that wasn’t me
that was every prom movie i ever did see
I didn’t go to a prom and didn’t have that fun
but prom isn’t even that good anyway, right everyone?
Your limo is late and not as fancy as the ad
your corsage is half dead but that’s not even what’s so bad
you don’t have a date and you’re glued to the wall
when you finally get a dance, you happen to fall
the punch is really spike but you didn’t know
you get tipsy and let your ugly side show
You don’t win for king of the dance,
you want to be happy but just can’t
you rented a hotel room just in case
but at the end of the night, you don’t want to show your face
Just be happy prom is a one time thing
and you don’t have to deal with all this again until you pop the ring
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
If you’re looking to buy a nice tux,
then you are in luck
i just launched a shop
to buy a tux, its the top
you can get jackets, pants, shirts and a vest
but it’s the prices that you will like best.
This is just a cheesy ad for the new site
i’m hoping this poem will get me a few bites.
so if you need something nice to wear to your prom
save some effort and shop at www.tuxedocanada.com.
*note: to make up for this ad, i’ll try and post some sucky poems about prom.
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
i’ve been thinking of some really sucky poems to post
but people wonder if they are inspired by my life the most
Then I have to think twice about writing tons of stuff
like mommy and daddy not loving me enough
or the years i spent locked in a cellar
and how about the beatings, they were really stellar
I’m not sure where to draw the line with drugs
and I don’t want to write too much about hugs
so really i’m left with almost nothing to write
and my grey area is really tight
I really post based on my inspiration
but not on my life, based on the rest of the nation
in the news, in what i read
in blogs, movies and tv
the love, the hate, the stuff in between
from the octogenarian and even the teens
so i’m deciding right now that anything goes
and now you can watch this blog and see how it grows.
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
It wasn’t because of my lie
that she left me for another guy
it wasn’t because of my smell
that made her wish me to hell
it wasn’t because of my attitude
even though she said i was pretty rude
it wasn’t even my hygene
when I was filthy and she was clean
I’m really not sure why we ended up like this
but it might be that i would rather get hit by a car that give her a kiss
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
I want a job and i want to work
i want a paycheck and i want the perks
i want a nice office and a cushy chair
i want to give orders and decide what’s best
I want to do research, development and test
I want bonuses and lots of vacation
I want to have fun at my occupation
I want fun coworkers who laugh throughout the day
I want this job and will have it no other way
what? what’s that you say?
you say i’m dreaming my life away?
I don’t think so and i’ll have you know
your just jealous, you lousy foe
I’ll get the job and and prove this chat.
In the meanwhile, do you want fries with that?
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
have a little shot,have another shot
have a little shot,have another shot
have a little shot,have another shot
have another shot
And then you throw up
throw up in the club, I just blew chuncks
people all stare at me
i took another sip, then i took a slip
cause the ground was covered like a sea
I drink too much, dont know when to stop
i’m always the center of attention
just drink my tears, drink away my fears
ya can’t go and blame me
cause if you like to drink, you better limit it
if you like to drink, you better limit it
dont want to swallow your drink and revisit it.
if you like to drink, you better limit it
oh, oh, oh
if you like to drink, you better limit it
if you like to drink, you better limit it
dont want to swallow your drink and revisit it.
if you like to drink, you better limit it
I got a beer in each fist, a shot to my lips
been drinking since a quarter to three
causing a fight, i see the light
i can care less what you think
I need no permission, did i mention
i’m always the center of attention
You can have a turn, and now you’re gonna learn
how it feels for the room to spin
cause if you like to drink, you better limit it
if you like to drink, you better limit it
dont want to swallow your drink and revisit it.
if you like to drink, you better limit it
oh, oh, oh
if you like to drink, you better limit it
if you like to drink, you better limit it
dont want to swallow your drink and revisit it.
if you like to drink, you better limit it
oh, oh, oh
don’t tease me with the bottle up high
i’m not that kind of guy
the beer is what i prefer, what i deserve
Here’s a drink that he makes for me which takes me
and delivers me from soberville to ecstasy and beyond
let me fall to the floor, the position i adore
if you join, I wont be alone
If we drop, we’ll be gone
have a little shot,have another shot
have a little shot,have another shot
have a little shot,have another shot
have another shot
And then you throw up, oh, oh, oh
if you like to drink, you better limit it
if you like to drink, you better limit it
dont want to swallow your drink and revisit it.
if you like to drink, you better limit it
oh, oh, oh
if you like to drink, you better limit it
if you like to drink, you better limit it
dont want to swallow your drink and revisit it.
if you like to drink, you better limit it
oh, oh, oh
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
Dear Mr. So and So,
i’m writing this letter to let you know
that I have one little thing i need to ask
but writing this letter is quite the task
I have to break it up into paragraphs at best
write an intro, a conclusion and fill in the rest
because it would be rejected without proper form
for wasting a day writing this is quite the norm
It took so long to write the letter
and now we have email which is so much better
I can write things quickly without much thinking
and then send it off without ever blinking
I just have to keep certain accepted formalities
like starting off with “Hey”’s and ending with “sincerely”’s
I wonder how people ever got anything done
when they couldn’t send messages on the run.
But now people don’t have the patience to read or write an entire email
they skim through the first line and everything else is a “fail”
they send a one liner from their blackberry phone
with the “sent from my Blackberry” really important tone
Now ppl twt wht thy want 2 say 1 bite sized piece @ a time
writing more than a 140 is an impossible crime
the way thngs r going i wonder whts nxt
probably some other form of abbreviated txt
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.If you enjoyed this post, please share it by clicking the social media button of your choice below. Thanks.
|
