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Archive for the 'Songs' CategoryTrojan Magnum CondomsPosted by Flid
In Songs
16May 10 Ludacris teamed up with Trojan Condoms to create a contest for people to submit their own rap about Trojan Magnum condoms. Someone suggested that I enter the contest or at least write something. I decided to write the rap below just for the fun of it. It is not my style at all so I password protected the post. Please leave comments and feel free to spread it around.They say you gotta rap it before you smack it
but selafane to girls, just wont attract it
it feels like rubber squeeking away
shit like that won’t happen each day
you gonna tap every girl you coud
wanna be rockstar like tiger woods
got a girl in each city
he got caught what a @#$%&’in pity
he pissed off a shorty by using second best
forgot his Magnums, had to settle for the rest
Magnums keeps you in the game, feels so real all else is a shame
Each Magnum is tested to work, so no baby mamma make you feel a jerk
Magnum standard is gold in protection, make sure you keep all your boys with no ejection
with Trojan Magnums my loyalty will stay, %$&^ I wear one every day
Sometime 2 or 3 or 4, I hang a bag of them outside my door
If a shorty wants plastic, she’ll get a toy
not some glad bag wrapped on a boy
you need to let them experience your gem
feel your big organic stem
“M” “A” “G” “N” “U” “M” feels completely natural to them
better yet, you feel it too
won’t have to work till your balls turn blue
the shit is strong, it just won’t break
no name brands give you a 4 week headache
Wondering if she was worth the play
petrified of the day she’ll say
“oh shit, i’m late again”
those few words blow me out of zen
Make me wish I used the best
now i’ll have to buy a test.
Makin babies is not the only worry,
STI’s can make your future blurry
put your boys out of commission
hope that its not a permanent condition
the stupid bitch gave you the “S” “T” “I”
makes you wish you stuck to Pie
even that moron would be better off
he would have superglued the condom instead of his cock
The moral of the story is be smart from the start
protection, comfort first and then the tart.
If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks. Comments This song has been on my mind since the first time I heard it on the radio. Not sure why it took so long to get it up here. Enjoy!
I was constipated Nothing to do, nowhere to go I was constipated Just get me to the bathroom and put me on the throne Hurry hurry hurry before I let it go I can’t control my bowels I can’t control my flow Oh no oh ho Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours ago I was constipated Nothing to do, nowhere to go I was constipated Just put me in a wheelchair And get me to the throne Hurry hurry hurry before I go loco I can’t control my bowels I can’t control my flow Oh no oh ho If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.
In Songs
4May 09 have a little shot,have another shot And then you throw upthrow up in the club, I just blew chuncks I drink too much, dont know when to stop cause if you like to drink, you better limit it oh, oh, ohif you like to drink, you better limit it I got a beer in each fist, a shot to my lips I need no permission, did i mention cause if you like to drink, you better limit it oh, oh, ohif you like to drink, you better limit it oh, oh, ohdon’t tease me with the bottle up high Here’s a drink that he makes for me which takes me have a little shot,have another shot And then you throw up, oh, oh, oh if you like to drink, you better limit it oh, oh, ohif you like to drink, you better limit it oh, oh, ohIf you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.
In Songs
26Sep 08 See the blog post on your site See your tweet is quite all right I wait for your value Read your content and start to rate With your free value you post each day three times or four With your free value And you give it all away My hands are tired And you give it all away With your free value With your free value Ugly, Parody of LonelyPosted by Flid
Ugly, You are so ugly,
You are so ugly,
Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno there’s this one ugly girl whose always been there like ya I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed that girl was by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was You are so ugly (so ugly), You are so ugly (so ugly), Cant believe that a girl like you can just walk right into my room, after all I put u thru u still stuck You are so ugly (so ugly), You are so ugly (so ugly), Been all about the world ain’t neva seen a girl that can make me puke like you I see Never thought the day would come where I would have to get up and run and you would be out chasing me
You are so ugly (so ugly), You are so ugly (so ugly), Now I’m never going to be alone, I did hope you’d be gone for so long long, I jus want u to go away, so stop stalkin girl and You are so ugly (so ugly), You are so ugly (so ugly), Ugly, so ugly You’re Not 22 (I Will Survive Parody)Posted by Flid
With love to my big brother on his 30th birthday. At first I was afraid I was petrified I grew up with a big brother Moish who had height and muscle on his side But then I spent so many nights Working out and getting strong And then we grew up and learned how to get along
And now you’re back From LA Came back to crash on my couch even if it’s only for 2 days I should have changed my f-ing lock But I decided to leave you leave a key But I have only one request don’t make noise when you come in at 3
Oh now go Walk out the door Party for your birfday Like you’re only 24 Weren’t you the one who said you’ll always be 18 Now you wonder, Weren’t all those years really keen?
Oh no, not you You’re not 22 As long as you keep aging you don’t know what to do You’ve got all your life to live And you’ve got all your love to give But you’re not 22 You’re not 22 Yeah, Yeah
It took all the strength I had Just to take the beat I still have the scars to prove it On my seat Yoni and I spent so many minutes Just thinking of these lyrics he wanted to mention commandos But I stood up and vetoed it Now we remember The days of old Where the dead man run would knock us out good and cold
And so you thought i’d get up here to make some fun of you and cause a fuss But we’re gonna save our makin fun for someone that can make fun of us
Oh now go Walk out the door Party for your birfday Like you’re only 24 Weren’t you the one who said you’ll always be 18 Now you wonder, Weren’t all those years really keen? Oh no, not you You’re not 22 As long as you keep aging you don’t know what to do You’ve got all your life to live And you’ve got all your love to give But you’re not 22 You’re not 22 Yeah, Yeah If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.TV Will Be There For YouPosted by Flid
In Songs
11Feb 08 A parody of the Friends Theme Song “I’ll Be There For You”.
So no one ever told you how much time you’d waste each day So many shows to watch your time just slips away It’s like you’re always stuck down on your rear Well, you haven’t gone outside in a week, a month or even a year But TV will be there for you, when work needs to get done TV will be there for you when you could be out having fun TV will be there for you because you’re stuck to it too You get no sleep at night because the shows never stop Late night talk shows and old sitcoms that really rock And infomercials for a knife to cut through your shoes At 3 AM no matter what is on, you seem to be amused But TV will be there for you, when work needs to get done TV will be there for you when you could be out having fun TV will be there for you because you’re stuck to it too No one could ever show me, the programs TV shows me Seems like my whole life is sitting in front of the TV Something to face the day with, make it through all the rest with, Something I’ll always laugh with, even at my worst, I’m best with TV It’s like you’re always stuck down on your rear Well, you haven’t gone outside in a week, a month or even a year But TV will be there for you, when work needs to get done TV will be there for you when you could be out having fun TV will be there for you because you’re stuck to it too If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.We Want To Make Some MoneyPosted by Flid
We Want To Make Some Money (Parody of We Didn’t Start The Fire by Billy Joel. If you’re not completely familiar, take a look at the music video, it’s always been a favorite of mine.)
We work hard every day, make our money, get our pay 9 to 5 to pay our bills but at the end we’re broke
Something’s wrong with the world today, why is it that poor we stay While others make the money and get richer all the time
There must be some secret trick, to get money make it stick Keep it in your bank account and watch it start to grow
I’m going to learn it all, learn the secrets, play ball Make some money, keep the money, retire with the dough
We want to make some money We want to get rich fast and then we’ll make it last We want to make some money Yes we want it quick but not a scam or trick
Books all say the same thing, financial freedom is what they sing Save now, invest now, pay yourself first
Stock market, real estate, build a business, never wait Passive income is what you need, gotta build the thirst
Forget employee, specialist, building a business is what’s best Have people work for you, then the big bucks you accrue
Find a mission, build a team, work hard, play the game Make money big time, more than you can handle
Chorus
Invest in some real estate, buy and flip, celebrate Roll it over, 1031 like monopoly is lots of fun
4 green houses for a red hotel, rent them out then make the sale Foreclosures and REO get them all to cash flow
Read the paper, read a book, read some blogs, take a look Make a plan, follow well, learn how to buy and sell
Take it in your own hands invest your money take a stand Trade stocks, mutual funds, personal loans and government bonds
Chorus
If you want to stay safe, max out your 401k Add to it pre tax and hope the market doesn’t crash
Compound interest is your friend, to the bank you will lend Add to it every week, in 40 years you’ll be free
Work hard all your life, saving money is your strife Retire young, get paid, what else do I have to say
Chorus
Avoid scams on the net to your time, they’re a threat Rich Jerk, MLM, pyramid schemes
Lottery, game shows, gambling money really blows Falsified criteria, rich guy in
Make money from your home, click on ads while you roam Sell stuff on e-bay, bid it up then start to pray
Write a blog, write some more, get your adsense that’s for sure All this work is such a chore, I can’t take this anymore
We want to make some money We want to get rich fast and then make it last We want to make some money But time slips away each and every day and day and day… If you enjoyed this poem please consider buying me a beer. Thanks.Valentine From Your Psycho GirlfriendPosted by Flid
In spirit of Valentines day, here is an old favorite, fixed up for the occasion.
Oh, You’d better watch out, You better think quick You better buy some presents I’ll teach you a trick Your girlfriend is expecting a night on the town
She’s making a list, And checking it twice Whether you follow is whether she’s naughter or nice Your girlfriend is expecting Valentine’s Day on the town
She knows where you live She knows where you sleep She knows what you do with your money So spend it on her you stupid creep
Oh, You’d better watch out, You better think quick You better buy some presents I’ll teach you a trick Your girlfriend is expecting a night on the town
The lovers in girl and boy land Exchange presents back and forth And if you really value your life You better give in or head for the door
With two dozen roses And lots of stuffed bears A big box of chocolates All in the shape of a heart to show you care Your girlfriend is expecting a night on the town
Oh, You’d better watch out, You better think quick You better buy some presents I’ll teach you a trick Your girlfriend is expecting a night on the town American TiePosted by Flid
Note: I was just thinking of the song American Pie and the following just came out in the last few minutes. Must be my constant thinking about one day being financially free and kicking back.
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