Sucky Poems » The Rich and Famous

I had sex with Blake Lively thanks to Tim Ferriss

Flid — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:55:15 +0000

This poem is dedicated to Tim Ferriss (@tferriss) for his inspiration.

Until last night I could just day dream about
getting one of the women on my list whom I can sleep without
causing problems with my girlfriend for messing around
but the list is of celebs that can never be found
until last night when I learned a trick
Tim Ferriss’s blog mentioned lucid dreams which are sick
you can be sort of conscious while asleep
and sleep around as much as you want without making a peep
what happens in your dreams stays in your dreams
and getting a celeb over there is easier than it seems
Last night I enjoyed company with Blake
Getting her in bed was a piece of cake
Some people would suggest going after an ex
but i prefer celebs and Jessica Biel you’re next

Tim Ferris is the Author of the Four Hour Work Week which I suggest that everybody read.

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Wardrobe Malfunction

Flid — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:43:01 +0000

This Sucky Poem is dedicated to Jessica @unabarber for suggesting a sucky poem about nipple slips.

some top celebrity acrtress poses for pictures down the walk

and every reporter watching wants to have her for a talk

sometimes she acts politely and tells them all the news

and sometimes even unwillingly, she exposes one of her boobs

she promises it was unintentional and didn’t mean for it to happen

then why aren’t you covering up, you have a shirt to wrap in.

it’s never happened before, i usually use a clip

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Survival of the Fittest & Natural Selection

Flid — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:01:53 +0000

Survival of the fittest and natural selection

Did Darwin think it would take us in the right direction?

With the smartest reproducing and the dumb dying out

We’d be a civilization of geniuses without a doubt

But all of a sudden we discover accurate birth control

And with this little pill, Darwin’s theory has a hole

Now educated people can focus on their careers

While the dumb population sits around on their rears

Who’s going to spend the time reproducing?

I’ll tell you that it won’t be the people who’s resumes they are sprucing

So no genius advanced society with flying cars

We’re becoming a society obsessed with stars

Stars like Britney Spears who is reproducing pretty quick

And teaching our young how to dance and dress, which is sick

I hope we change, oh I really do

Because if we don’t Britney will run for president too.

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Mary Kate’s Fur

Flid — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 21:02:41 +0000

Note: a take on an article on US Weekly.

Mary Kate Olsen can run around at home in the buff

But in the streets she wears fur and all kinds of other stuff

PETA doesn’t like this, not one bit

But like the master of the house, they “isn’t worth me spit”

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Britney Doodle Went to Town

Flid — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 20:18:12 +0000

Britney spears went to town, riding on her K-Fed

She went nuts and he’s fed up and now he took her 2 kids

She shaved her head and showed her crotch and paraded around town

She lost her visitation rights and then shopped with a low-cut gown

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