That’s great work, you’re getting a raise

“Did I hear correctly, I’m really amazed”

I could use the extra money, I have so much with it to do

I could get a bigger apartment and buy some new clothes too

I could take that vacation I always dreamed of

or buy that game system with which I fell in love

There is so much I can do with the financial inspiration

“You’re not really getting a raise, that was just some motivation”

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“Boss I had a great idea, what do you think?”

I think nothing of it because it really stinks.

There is no way to implement it at least not very well

It won’t help our bottom line because it really won’t sell

I have an idea though that might work instead

It’s really great so get it into your thick head

It’s easy to implement and will sell really well

“Boss, that was the idea i just happened to tell”

Are you accusing me of stealing your thought?

“No boss, you’re the genius I’ll get it done (and thanks a lot!)”

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I had a great idea, my boss would say

If we implement it well, all our problems will go away

It will involve a lot of work and thinking through

But that’s what I’m paying you to do.

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I need you to work this weekend and the weekend after that

We have a very important client that always needs things in no time flat

He’s really demanding and we need to keep him happy

So make sure to answer to his beck and call and make it snappy

I can’t do it because I have a timeshare to use or lose

Besides, I could really use the extra snooze

I trust you to take care of everything while I’m gone

After all, I think of you like my own son

But if we lose the client for any reason at all

I’ll fire your @$$, but hey, that’s how we play ball.

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Just make these tiny corrections and get it back to me

I want to see the final version in my email by 3.

I claim web design and programming takes a little time

But the boss says, “it doesn’t, not on my dime.”

There are just a few changes, enough with your defiance

Web design or whatever you’re doing is not “rocket science”

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Do you mind if I watch you work?

Sure, no problem at all boss (you stupid jerk)

What’s that over there and the other thing too?

It’s html, (that thing you supposedly pay me to do)

How did you just do that and make that all come about?

They’re called “shortcuts” (and you’re retarded without a doubt)

I don’t understand anything at all that you do

Well, I get the job done (and if you don’t leave now, I’m through)

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The next bunch of poems are dedicated to all the bosses out there.  Keep checking each day for a new poem to hang on your cubicle wall.  If you like any of them, please share them with your friends and your favorite social media site. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

My boss dumps tons of work on me each day

We’ve got more work, do what I say

Take notes, listen well, I won’t say this twice

I’ll dump all my work on you and I won’t offer you my advice

Just do the job and report back to me

Then I’ll find more work so you can make me my fee

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