Email

Checking my email is really grand

I check it every minute or two and it’s getting out of hand

I got special tabbed browsing so I can see my 5 accounts

When I finish checking the last account, it’s back to the first that I pounce

It only takes 30 seconds to check each one

But the process of checking email is never done

I calculated once that I waste hours each day

That’s days of my life that I am pissing away

Cant I get the message that I have no new mail?

Except for all that spam and the Viagra for sale

Or the poor guy in Bangladesh that my help he needs

he wants my money and so his kids he can feed

or the guy who needs my bank account somewhere in peru

so I can collect his inheritance and pass it on too

I like the girls who write to show me their web cam

Getting the same email from 20 girls per day, man, what a scam

Did you ever get the one about making your penis a 12 incher?

All of this garbage piling up, that should have been the clincher

But not me, no way, I put up with it everyday

The unoriginal scams the wasted time

The whole concept is more than sublime

I’m sorry it took so long for me to get up this post

But while writing it, I checked my email 17 times, no joke.

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